Trouble, trouble, toil and stumble

As is par for the course, it's almost fitting that my first wee post on this update comes from (vaguely at least) one of my clearly favourite hobbies: Eating.

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I ate dinner tonight at a place called the Red Hut. It's a pretty informal sort of place - on the side of the road that almost resembles a shed rather than a restaurant. With no lighting around, I sat at the table provided and ate across the road from a restaurant showcasing their island night - full of glitz, glamour and Raro-infused remixes of cult classics like Shalalalala from the Vengaboys.

The setting was almost metaphorical from where I am at the moment here in Rarotonga. All of a sudden, after weeks of confidence-building productivitiy and feelings of confidence, today struck. Away from the fun, festival-type atmosphere of Rarotonga I was instead in a dimly lit area on the street. Helpless. Struggling.

It was supposed to be a good day. Following on from good days where I'd run a fair bit of copy and sunk my teeth into a weighty topic, today was all about following up details.

But, for some reason, I emotionally collapsed. By 6pm on Thursday night I was ready to go home, find the darkest corner in my pad and just let it all out.

I still can't explain it, looking back. I got into one of those states where life just doesn't want to cooperate with whatever you want to do. Stress envelopes everything, and stress' endorphins are nothing but frustratioin and melancholy.

While only into my eighth week here in Raro, today's mental shutdown certainly reminded me that, especially in the early stages, there is no such thing as complete peace of mind.

I would hardly call it a fall from comfortability - rather a stumble. It's time like these where a familiar face or a warm hug to come home to is the perfect tonic.

I texted mum when I was down and almost instantly felt a touch better. I guess it's about who you keep closest.

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The hardest thing about being a journalist is that any idea you had of pleasing all parties is thrown out the door almost from the beginning.

Frankly, I struggle with that. As a people person I'm all about trying to ensure people are happy and unsatisfaction is the bane of my existance.

Now, that only happens from 5pm-8.30am Monday through to Friday and for the weekend. It's tough to digest but like I've said, it's something I've got to get used to.

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If you had no idea or forgot about it, my first video blog post was uploaded :) Click on it, enjoy it, and let me know if you think I should add anything!

I'v already got ideas for the next few ones but it's always cool to hear what YOU want to see. I get to live here and see this stuff everyday - you don't, and that's the key  to the videos! :)